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Attachments: Why You Love, Feel, and Act the Way You Do
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$ 14.39
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| Retail Value |
$ 15.99 |
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$ 1.60 (10%) |
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| Item Number |
529586 |
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Item Description...
Product Description
The answer to why people feel and act they ways the do lies in the profound effect of a child's bonding process with his or her parents. How successfully we form and maintain relationships throughout life is related to those early issues of "attachment." The author have cited four primary bonding styles that explain why people love, feel, and act they way they do. This book is for anyone who desires closeness, especially in the most intimate relationships: marriage, parenting, close friends, and ultimately with God.
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Item Specifications...
Pages 320
Dimensions: Length: 8.98" Width: 5.83" Height: 0.87"
Release Date Feb 17, 2009
Publisher Thomas Nelson
ISBN 0785297375
EAN 9780785297376
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Availability 14 units.
Availability accurate as of Sep 02, 2010 01:10.
Usually ships within one to two business days from La Vergne, TN.
Orders shipping to an address other than a confirmed Credit Card / Paypal Billing address may incur and additional processing delay. |
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Reviews - What do our customers think?
 | Great insight into why we act the way we do. Mar 14, 2010 |
| This is an awesome book that helps us understand why we tick the way we do. It is also a great read for parents to help them know what children need so they will grow up with a healthy knowledge of who they are. I highly recommend this book. | | | | Attachments: Why You Love, Feel, and Act the Way You Do Apr 27, 2008 |
Reading this book has been amazing and life changing!
Dana
Child and Family Therapist | | |  | Helpful and Painful Sep 15, 2005 |
"Attachments" is a sensitively written and encouraging book. I also found it somewhat painful as I saw myself or those I care about in the chapters. To get the most of the material you need to be open and willing to take steps of change.
This book would be especially good as small group material or read with a partner. | | |  | New deck chairs on the Titanic..... Dec 24, 2004 |
This book admirably summarizes the concept of attachment in humans giving good examples of healthy social and psychological development in those raised with love and understanding, as well as illuminating the pathology that results from neglectful, repressive, or violent upbringings. Throughout the text, proper referencing is given to those (Bowlby, Ainsworth, Main and others) who founded and helped validate attachment principles with scientific data. Cases presented from the authors own counseling experience concur with attachment principles with regard to the root causes of the anxiety in the patient and the means by which some level of healing is achieved. All this is done while still being accessible to the average reader. In this regard alone, the book may merit a 5 star rating.
The fact that I question whether full healing can be achieved by the authors' recommendations is why I rate the book overall a 3 star effort. My reading of their premise is that "God" of the Judeo-Christian tradition can be experienced as the ultimate attachment figure and that this can heal the ingrained, unhealthy relationship behaviors resulting from poor parenting. The idea here is that in order, as adults, to take the jump to total honesty in our lives, we should trust in "God" as our secure base, much as a child can trust a sensitive, attuned, and caring parent. In this regard, the book's proposal is much like that of the 12-Step programs for addicts that seek to provide a welcoming, understanding group dynamic where admission of powerlessness to the addiction and trust in the "Higher Power" are central to the healing process.
My concerns about the recommendations made in "Attachments" are manifold, but chiefly are the following. First, no alternatives are made for a secure base in adulthood to that of the Judeo-Christian "God". Since a reading of the Old Testament suggests that this "God" was jealous, wrathful, and prone to infantile tantrums, one wonders to what extent this body of teachings can serve as a source of information for this "secure base". (I would predict that Yahweh would fail to score as "secure" in the Adult Attachment Interview, a standard test for measuring attachment in adults.) Secondly, to what extent is this "adult human-God" approximation of infant-adult attachment a reversion to infantile ways in the adult? What is the vision of psychological, emotional, and moral maturity in this model? Thirdly, the book takes evasive turns in some areas, not taking a stand on whether spanking is good/bad for children, side-stepping at what point adults should begin to take action against a draconian "work culture" such as ours in efforts to be more available to their children, and ducking altogether the issue of sex in the chapter entitled "Love, Sex, and Marriage".
Finally, although I respect and adhere to attachment theory as proffered by Bowlby and others, and although Bowlby grounded his hypothesis in evolutionary theory, only Ainsworth and select anthropologists and ethologists looked outside of our culture for validations of the attachment paradigm, and indeed found such evidence. Compared with the Judeo-Christian tradition focused on in "Attachments", cultures that are or were more earth-worshipping, versus "sky-God" worshipping, were exquisitely attuned to their children, offering mother, the extended family of tribe, the benevolent and fruitful earth, and finally the universe, as ever-expanding attachment figures. Although the end result of the approaches outlined in "Attachments" may lead to a healthier society, I get the vague feeling from the book that as long as individuals find peace, attached to their "God", without challenging the current "sick society" (as alluded to by Freud, Fromm, and a host of modern philosophers), then success has been achieved. So we can keep living in ever-more concentrated cities, blanket rural areas with crops and livestock from horizon to horizon, lovingly "encourage" our children in their team sports, music/drama, and the inevitable pursuit of their "career", rally against abortion but for fertility enhancements, and convince ourselves that we don't really need the natural world, because we are ensconced in "God" and he will always be there for us. This clearly describes a world out of balance.
If the focus on "God" in this book brings more people to understand and implement the principles of attachment theory, then I have to feel that some progress has been made. Ultimately, I would encourage the reading of "Attachments", but for counterpoint would recommend Calvin Luther Martin's "In the Spirit of the Earth: Rethinking History and Time" and Paul Shepard's "Nature and Madness". The authors of "Attachments" have pointed well to the excellent references of Bowlby and Ainsworth that illustrate the origins of attachment theory and to Robert Karen's summary thereof. (It has been proposed that the germination of attachment theory was the most important and radical development in 20th century psychology......Let's hope it doesn't take until the end of the 21st for it to bear fruit.) For the further curious reader, Jean Liedloff's "The Continuum Concept: In Search of Happiness Lost" and Derrick Jensen's "A Language Older Than Words" are non-scientific observations on other cultures and the natural world as attachment paradigms.
| | | | Underlying problems made understandable Nov 23, 2004 |
| As a therapist I run into people with attachment problems all the time. This book can help professionals and other interested people learn how and why the feel, or don't feel, as they do. Dr. Clinton is an excellent writer and makes the subject interesting and useful for both professionals and non-professionals alike. An excellent and not difficult read. | | | Write your own review about Attachments: Why You Love, Feel, and Act the Way You Do
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